The Perfect Illustration of My Hometown: Bakery or the Bar

As strong winds make the loose snow fly around throughout the flatlands of Minnesota, causing schools all over the state to close and driving conditions to be less than ideal, I came across the perfect illustration of my hometown.

Buffalo Lake, Minnesota, population 773, is the small town that city dwellers read about in the magazines. My friends and I have created a requirement system to be an actual town and BL meets those requirements: a bar, a softball field and a church. That’s all you need to be a small town.

Buffalo Lake is a place where you can leave your car run outside while you go into the grocery store, where the owner is also the cashier. The grocery store is where the perfect illustration occurred.

I was pulling out of my parking spot in front of the grocery store, my car being the only one in front of the store, and I noticed something about the other ten or so cars parked on Main Street: all of the cars were either parked in front of the bakery or the bar.

Maybe everyone was practicing their inventory management with the blizzard upon us by stocking up on the essential alcohol and doughnuts or maybe not, but it says a lot about my hometown, a place that I love.

A lot of rumors and, to put it an inelegant way, crap go around in our little town, but that happens anywhere. This a place where people work and work hard, a place where you know everybody’s name, a place that you care about everyone and they care about you, a place that everyone should want to call home.

If you look, you’ll find pluses and you’ll find minuses. And If you’re looking for someone, look for them at the bakery or the bar.

A Rarity: Nine Head Coaches In Minnesota Vikings History

The Minnesota Vikings have a new head coach; they hired now former Cincinnati Bengals defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer to be the ninth coach in franchise history. That’s the part that amazes me, only nine coaches in the 52 seasons of Vikings football.

BudGranted, Bud Grant did swallow up 17 of those years, but still this is an impressive feat. I’ve written multiple times about how the Twins have only had two managers since 1986, which is simply unheard of, because the Vikings small amount of coaches is impressive.

Let’s put this in context, the Minnesota Timberwolves have been around for 25 seasons and they’ve gone through nine coaches already. The same amount of coaches in half the time, it’s sad neither of the tactics are working because neither franchise has won the big one.

I don’t if I should be applauding the Vikings for only having nine coaches in 50 plus years or note that four of those coaches have been at the helm in the last ten years. It’s probably just an anomaly with the benefactor of having a hall of fame coach, who still has an office at team headquarters.

Congratulations, Mike Zimmer, you have been given the keys to a ride that only a few have taken for a spin. Some have crashed and burned, some have ran some pretty nice laps, but none have crossed the finished line coming in first.

Your new ride might need to go to the shop a couple times in the next year in order to make it a fine tune machine. You’ll have to keep it outside for a couple years while they’re building you a shiny new garage, too, but nevertheless it’s yours now, make her yours.

Take the keys, put the pedal to the medal and don’t make the franchise hire a tenth head coach for a long time.

A Radio Geek’s Dream Come True: Garage Logic Style

I will start by admitting that I am a total geek, an unashamed nerd. It’s no secret that I love the radio and that I love sports, combining those two results in my fondness for 1500 ESPN – Twin Cities. What may not be known as well is my absolute fandom for Garage Logic on 1500.

GL isn’t an easy concept to explain. Host Joe Soucheray has created a town, the town of Garage Logic, and has been appointed mayor of said town. If it seems crazy, it is a little bit, but that’s one of the many reasons I love it so much.

Soucheray is the ‘speed bumb’ right in the middle of the day on 1500, speaking minimally on sports topics. I’d say that would be left for SportsTalk with Soucheray and Patrick Reusse, but they don’t really talk about sports during that hour either.

On Soucheray’s Garage Logic, there is a recurring segment called a ‘ray of hope’. Soucheray, his loving producers Rookie and Reuvers, newsman John Heidt and the listeners search for something positive in this sometimes dreary world.

koozieI offered a ray of hope of my own on Friday afternoon via email. I illustrated that I had purchased a GL can koozie from the 1500 ESPN Prize Vault and that I had received an email from the station saying it was on my way to my doorstep via USPS, the United States Postal Service. I brought up the USPS as the ray of hope, knowing Sooch is such a lover and friend of the Post Office.

To my surprise it led the show on Friday afternoon and my email was the topic of conversation for the first whole segment. Actually, it was Joe’s amazement that the can koozie cost me so many points, but still for a radio geek it was quite a thrill to hear my favorite radio host say my name multiple times over the airwaves.

In Soucheray’s discovery of the cost being too high for a koozie, he offered that I send back my can koozie and he’ll sign it for me. Let me tell you, the can koozie will be on its way back to the Cities.

Having your name on the airwaves isn’t a huge deal, I’ve said my own name over the airwaves hundreds of times, but there’s something cool about your favorite anything acknowledging that you exist in any capacity whatsoever.

My love of sports has brought me a lot of things, but little did I expect it would bring me a radio show that has nothing to do with sports and that I’d fall in love with it.

I believe you should always thank the people who make your day better, so a big ‘thank you’ for making every day better, Rookie, Reuvers, Heidt, Kenny and, of course, Joe.

You can check out Friday’s episode via iTunes here.

Good luck.

Bud Light Fumbles NFL Tweet

Bud Light’s Twitter account has been a barrel-full of material for me the past couple of days. On Friday night, I discovered that ex-Twins hurler Boof Bonser followed Bud Light on Twitter. On Monday, the folks behind the Bud Light Twitter account sent out the following picture with the caption “And then there were four.”

BUDLIGHT

The problem is that only two of the teams are actually still in contention. The Bud Light folks got the Denver Broncos and San Francisco 49ers correct, but both the Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints were eliminated this past weekend.

Now, I can see where this can happen. The folks at Bud Light probably had multiple of these pictures made up with all possible results and the intern that runs the Twitter account selected the wrong picture. It happens. It just doesn’t usually include getting 50 percent of your message completely wrong.

Congratulations, New Orleans and Indianapolis. You’re on a beer can. Peyton Manning won and he’s going to drink you down now.

I Wish Clarence Clemons Had Entered My Life Sooner

Back in high school, which was such a long time ago, I played the saxophone in the band, kind of. I wasn’t very good, but that’s probably because I wasn’t very interested in the thing. It was fun, but like most things for teenagers, it lost its luster after a year or two.

I wish I would have learned to play better and possibly flourish with that instrument now. In childhood, I was immersed in country music, which I still am, but I have expanded my horizons. I now have the likes of Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen in my music wheelhouse. What I’ve noticed is that their music features saxophone and a lot of it. When talking about the saxophone, talk starts and stops with Clarence Clemons, Springsteen’s other half in the E Street Band.

I was reminded that it was Clemons’ birthday today via an Instagram post by fellow Springsteen aficionado Dana Wessel.  Clemons would have been 72 today.

Now that I’m a huge Springsteen fan, I wish I would have practiced my saxophone more and moved up to that lovely tenor saxophone, the usual weapon of choice for Clarence. I wish Clarence Clemons would have entered my life earlier, because he entered it after he was gone.

Should I have practiced my saxophone more? Definitely. Would I had I known that Clarence Clemons was a god living amongst mere mortals? You better your ass I would have.

You can’t go through a single song penned by Springsteen and not think of Clarence. It’s such a special connection that few people ever share. So go now and look through your Springsteen collection and think of Clarence and then do it again tomorrow, because it’s just that damn good.

Happy birthday, Big Man.