I don’t want to be a whistleblower, so forgive me J & J Snack Foods, but I have to call you out. J & J Snack Foods, you have an ice monopoly. I know this is some tough news to hear, but you’ll understand soon.
J & J is the owners behind the well-known ICEE brand that you see in every place that sells anything. You’ve had an ICEE, I’ve had an ICEE, we’ve all had an ICEE. You might be surprised to know that J & J also owns Slush Puppie and Luigi’s Italian Ice. That’s a lot ice, folks.
It’s an ice monopoly. It’s an open and close case. Name another flavored ice company. You can’t they’re all in the palm of J & J Snack Foods.
That’s not where this ends. No, J & J also owns SuperPretzel, those humongous microwavable pretzels that we’ve all been forced to scarf down at least once in our life.
Also on the list of things that J & J Snack Foods owns is Bavarian Pretzel Bakery, Mrs. Goodcookie, Pretzel Filler, Country Home Bakery, Tip Pepe’s churros, Wholefruit, Uptown Bakeries and Readi-Bake. I left the best one off of the list…
The Funnel Cake Factory. The Funnel Cake Factory is a brand name for microwavable funnel cakes which might just be the best creation ever. Product benefits? The first bullet point from their website for their product is the best one: “Add fun to your menu with a unique breakfast offering or create your own signature dessert”.
You want to know how much we love junk food in America? J & J Snack Foods made $744 million in revenue in 2011. $744 million off of frozen ice and microwavable pretzels. God bless capitalism.
What a country.
Collin Kottke: All-Around Swell Guy 